To love someone needs a lot of responsibility
It is so easy to make people sad by doing something intentionally or not intentionally especially the one who loves you. I don't know how other people build relationships but I take a long time to build it. To become a real friend, I have to spend a long time. I have to see them everyday, and every hour for a month or so, and then I feel very comfortable with them and treat them as my friends if I like them. Love relationship has to go even farther as you know. I put so much effort and time to build up the relationship, but one little tiny thing can easily break the bridge I have been building. It's like an expensive precision instrument can be broken by dust. Love becomes Marilyn Manson or maybe my brother. It is very scary, and I don't want to risk that. Only time I try to make a girlfriend is when I feel it is worth to risk and I feel strong enough to be responsible for her.