1996 Halloween

CATEGOLY: Funny
DATE OF EVENT: October, 1996

Many seasonal events are cerebrated by both Japanese and North Americans such as Christmas, and New years, but Halloween is not. It was a new experience for me. Canadians told me what it is, and what people do. So, the staff of N.I.T. decided to have a pumpkin head (whatever its proper name is) competition. They explained how to make it and we did, but they forgot to explain how it should look like. You know it should look scary. Well every one actually made scary face pumpkins, except one freak, who didn't have any common sense, and you guess who it was. It was of course ME, soistheman. I made a man who was somehow excited. As a matter of fact, the man was so excited his penis was erect. Look at the picture, it the proof, that I really made a man with an erected penis. Now you may be laughing at me, or thinking that I am so stupid, but guess what. As I said this was a competition. I won the stupidest award and earned $5. It's a serious business. Now you think this was the only story I have for Halloween, then you are wrong. This is only the beginning of Halloween stories.

The day of Halloween, I still had to go to school. So I did went to school, but not with empty hand, with surprises. I already smell troubles, guhehehehee. My classmates were there in the classroom and they were chatting as usual. Suddenly they hear a strange screaming. It was like a creature's screaming from a Hollywood horror movie. "What is going on?" and people looked at the door. They were scared, I could tell by their fearful faces. But I know they didn't fear of the sound of monster or what they were seeing. They feared of an idiot who was wearing a monster mask and standing at the door. One of them said, "Who is this? You stupid." Other said, "Stop! Stop it So." I don't know how he figured out it was actually me, but he did, and he took my mask away. So I closed my eyes and pretended I was looking around by moving my head around. I kept doing that, and then I heard people laughing. They weren't laughing at what just happened, but they were laughing at something else, perhaps something was happening. Yes it was I again. I had drawn eyes on my eyelids, so even though my real eyes were closed, I still had the drawn eyes. Funny. I used those eyes when I was in class too, and looked at my English teacher.

The last thing I did was the most troublesome. In fact, It was so funny to me, but not so funny for others. You will see what I mean. Just keep reading. (I really appreciate that you read my stories, otherwise all the work I did is nothing, you know.)

Case #1: Victim, Tomohiro Ishizuka (Tomo).
I was waiting for him to come down to his locker in the basement to pick up his books in the morning before the class starts. For some reason, I had my video camera ready on my hand to take a great shoot. Here he came. He ran down the stirs and came in to the locker room. He saw me taping. He asked me why I was taping. I said, "You know. Usual thing, I thought it was nice to tape what our ordinary day is like in Canada." He knew I take videos and every once a while we watch it together and send copies of the tape to our parents. So he didn't suspect any strange thing about it. But in my heart, I was saying, "Guhehehahgeha. You will lose, you will go down today, and every thing will be recorded in this tape, hekekehhhehek." The truth was that I brought a false hand, which was pretty real, and I put it in his locker. He opened the door little bit. The door squeaked. There was Tomo who was very easy to be scared, and had no idea what I was up to. He was trying to be a good actor in front of the camera, and there was So who was trying to hide his laugh and waiting for Tomo to scream like a woman. He opened it more, and screamed like a woman, as soon as he saw the hand, and then he backed away from the hand. He was still screaming. He turned 360 degrees and backed away further more. Meanwhile I was laughing so hard still successfully taping what I was seeing. He eventually stopped screaming and backing off. He was about 10ft away from his locker.

Case #2: Victim, a cleaning lady.
I don't know I wasn't there to see the cleaning lady scream. She usually came after school when we were not around. Anyway I did what my heart told me to do. This time I put the hand on the top of the door of the cleaning equipment room, so that when she opened the door the hand would fall off. I tested again and again that my mission would succeed. I checked she would not see the hand before she opened the door. I made sure everything was perfect before I left the school. And everything was perfect as I planed. As I said I could not see the event, so I don't have much to tell you but I guess the hand scared out of her. The very next morning, when I entered the class room, my friend was pointing finger at me, said, "Now who's in trouble. Read what it say on the while board, So." It said something like "Whoever put the hand on the door, please come to see me after school." The cleaning lady told me that she was so scared. I will tell you only this. I will let you imagine everything else she said.

Case #3: Victim, Stella Dypolt, my host mother.
Did you actually think I would have stopped this just because the cleaning lady said something? Hell no. I could not stop this unless I surprise Stella who is also so easy to be scared. For her case, I snaked into her car in the night, and put the hand underneath a pillow, which she sit down always while she drove. According to her, she could not see the front without the pillow because she was so short. My setup was completed, and now I had to wait until the next morning. Well like the cleaning lady case, I couldn't see what happened, I just heard what she described what happened. This time things weren't gone well as according to the plan. The first attempt, it was failed. She said she could feel anything underneath the pillow, so she kept driving. I reviewed what really happened and why she didn't felt anything in order not to make the same mistake again, and this is my explanation. Since it was early morning, her nerves were little slow, and it took too long to get the slow nerves to get from her huge bum to her small brain that was almost impossible for even her own nerves to find in the head. Before the nerves found the brain, she arrived at her daycare, and got out from her car. But I still had a chance. Yes it failed in the morning, but she still had to drive to get home, and this time was better since her nerves were awake. She said she opened the door and sit down. Immediately (this time, thanks god) she felt something odd, so she put her hand under the pillow. She found something, so she graved it and pulled it out. Suddenly, she realized she was graving a hand. She came home, and called me. "So! What it this stupid hand! I was so scared. I screamed so hard, my throat heat now. My neck heat too because I jumped and hit the roof. You are in trouble, Mr. But it was funny, I put the hand on the car window on the way home. When I stopped at a traffic light, the lady next to my car saw the hand and …", and she went on and on. What a typical woman, eh?